Almost [Paper] Pregnant!

So we have the application completed and a bunch of other papers to be completed. We also need to get our physicals done and fingerprints. We need to file our taxes and update the financial portion of the application. But in all reality, we are almost paper pregnant! I cannot wait for that moment when we hand in all of the paperwork and are just waiting to complete our home study. Once we reach that point, all we have to do is complete our home study and then we are waiting to be matched.

Last night Andrew and I babysat for our friend's little boys. They are like family to us at this point and spending the night with them reminded me of how much I want to be a mom. It's not a matter of being pregnant that I long to experience, it is simply being a mom. I want to have a son or daughter. I want to see Andrew be a father. I want to fall in love with our little ones over and over again. I cannot wait for that all to happen.

In the meantime, we are trying to raise enough money to begin our home study which means we need about $1900. At this point we have reached $830 through the amazing support of family and friends. One family member promised to donate $1000 in February. That means we are EXTREMELY close to having our home study paid for. We are hoping that with the money that we get back from our taxes we can pay off some of the debt that we incurred trying to do an IVF procedure. :/ Luckily, it isn't too much and we will be able to focus on setting up our nursery once that is paid off.

I am most definitely looking forward to decorating the nursery. I already know that I want to decorate in a nautical theme if we are blessed with a baby boy and a shabby chic theme if we are blessed with a baby girl! So exciting!

So for now we are continuing our efforts to fundraise, sending a letter out to all of our family and friends to tell them we are "paper pregnant" and getting our physicals and fingerprinting done! :)

Also, I am knitting and selling infinity scarves. If anyone is interested they will be $25 and you can select any color! :) Please please please support our adoption & keep warm this winter with one of my hand-knit infinity scarves!

<3

Have a little faith

So earlier today I was having one of those moments that we all have. A moment of doubt. Pure doubt. I knew going into the adoption process that it would be extremely difficult. I knew that it would be a roller coaster of emotions. I knew that there were so many unknowns. But I also knew that at the end there would be a precious little baby for us to love on. What I didn't really focus on was the financial aspect of it. I knew... I knew that somehow it would fall into place. I didn't want to not do adoption just because the financial aspect scared me. So I jumped in. Whole-heartedly. But today, I felt doubt. I was researching different adoption agencies, looking at blogs by families who have adopted or are in the process, and listening to music and I just completely broke down. I looked on our fundraiser page and saw that we were at $205.00 and my heart broke. I was extremely happy that we reached that number but knew that if we were going to submit our application then we would need to have $500.00.

God knew. God knew that I was in doubt. Because somehow my nana touched my mom and she reminded my mom of her love for us and my mom donated in memory of my nana. The two women who raised me for most of my life are once again raising me up and reminding me to have a little faith. I know that when times get tough and I want to give up it is always my mom who is there for me. What I forgot, was that this applies in all cases. My mom had no idea that I was filled with doubt today and yet, somehow she felt that she should donate to our adoption fundraiser in memory of my nana.

So everyone, have a little faith :)